Ill Decisions
by TheAnimeWriterLover
Summary: Shinichi should have thought better than to hold back his whereabouts from many important people in his life. Due to his decisions, he will have to deal with his emotional broken soulmate. Soulmate AU


**Challenge: Soulmate AU (First attempt)**

 **Inspiration: Yuri! On Ice (I seriously fell in love with this show. I didn't even know it was possible, as I don't know anything about figure skating except for basic skating itself. So I'm bringing some elements from the show to this story, because, like I said, I don't know anything about figure skating. Enjoy!)**

In his life, Shinichi was used to being praised as the modern Sherlock Holmes by the people around him. Few dared to go against the claim, and found themselves the laughing stocks in the end. Due to that, it was of no surprise that the fame has gotten to his head. Heck, Ran said more times than not that he needed to check himself. If not, he could get into some serious trouble one day. He thought nothing of the warnings and continued with his business. With fame, loving family and great friends, he ignored the name that was written on his forearm. The full name belonged to his soulmate, who he knew only one thing about and that it was that she went to his school. Everyone had their soulmates full names tattooed on their forearms. Once they found each other, then it was happy ever after and that sort of stuff. Not that he cared. His soulmate, Katsumi Fukushima, has not approached him once. In his arrogant mind, he thought that since she didn't want to be with him then he wouldn't approach her too. Who didn't want to be with _the_ Shinichi Kudo?

Boy, oh boy, has a lifetime lesson hit him hard when he was 16 years old. He ditched Ran to solve a mysterious case on one of their hang outs. Being hit in the head and forced to take a drug, which shrunk a person, forced him to realize where he stood in life. He may be smart. He may be the modern Sherlock Holmes. He may be able to solve lots of crimes. But, in the end, he was nothing more than a little, itsy, bitsy, part of a huge system in this big world. There were people out there that were a whole lot smarter than him. Some of them could solve the crimes with one glance if need be. He met his matches throughout the next year, no matter if they fought for the good or bad. Then there was the horrifying truth. There was an organization out there with questionable goals. Not that it was new, but the problem was that they killed everyone in their way. It was one of those times that he was glad that he didn't get to know his soulmate. He didn't want to drag her into that whole mess. It was enough to lie to his best friend and her family and other people, but to his _soulmate_? He was sure that it wouldn't be possible, even for him. Yes, him, who has lied and manipulated those around him that didn't know his secret while in a child's form.

So after a long, torturous year, Shinichi managed to get his teenager body back. He came forth to every police station he knew, with evidence about the organization. The FBI, CIA, Tokyo police and even the Security of Bureau of the National Police Agency. With that evidence, he left the remains of the criminal order to them. He knew that they could handle it better than him. But there were downsides. One of which was that Ran gave him a good earful about him lying to her and other… things. He swore to God that he'd get Sonoko for those dirty jokes and pictures. No thanks to her, it put the two childhood best friends in an awkward position.

A major disadvantage of returning back into a 17 years old teenager was that he had to catch up on his studies. Being turned into a child by a drug and going around solving crimes was, not a good enough of a reason to skip a grade. Now, he was left behind while all his teenage friends were at least a year ahead of him in schooling. This left him with one other disadvantage. After a whole year of not being near his soulmate or seeing her, he was ready to go insane. All the guilt of ignoring her for so long and the want to see her started to build inside of him. At first, he was confused. His feelings after not seeing her for a whole year didn't quite make sense. He remembered that he ignored her for _some_ reason, but not for what. When he took a step back and evaluated what he was like a year ago, he finally understood. He could number off at least 1000 reasons off the top of his head why she wouldn't want to approach him. All those reasons were understandable and he couldn't blame her. So it was also understandable, why he started to get anxious once he returned to his high school. He was in the same class as Katsumi, but she has not once showed up for the last few days and ever since he came back.

Today, he found out why.

"You didn't know?" Sonoko answered before Ran could. Her eyebrows knitted in disapproval as she glared at him. "She's competing in a national skating contest… thing."

The detective could tell from her tone of voice that she didn't care about the contest. It didn't matter if it was his soulmate that was competing. To them, Katsumi was a stranger.

"Wait, but I heard that she's in the hospital right now."

The other female protested as she looked at her female best friend with a mixture of confusion and worry. Shinichi grew pale when he heard the word 'hospital'. This got her a raised eyebrow from the other female.

"Where did you hear that?"

"A few days ago, I heard a few teachers talk about it. Her homeroom teacher was told by her parents that she was stressed and hasn't been eating well. She has even fainted during her practice."

"Which hospital?"

The high school detective asked before anyone could say anything else. He felt a familiar feeling, but for a foreign reason. His brain started to shut down bit by bit, and his emotions heightened. The strongest of those emotions was panic. He knew that she was alive, at least. It was one of the two powers that soulmates had: To know if their other half was alive or not. The other power that a soulmate pair had was to tell whether the other was hurt or not. But that power came from a long time of being close to each other. Shinichi knew off the bat that the two of them were crossed off the list for the second power. This only led the feelings heighten. He looked with his blue eyes into his friend's apologetic eyes:

"I-I'm sorry, Shinichi, but I don't know. I'm sure that you share a homeroom teacher with her, right? I'm sure that your homeroom teacher knows- wait!"

"Thanks!"

Shinichi had enough time to shout over his shoulder as he ran and took a sharp turn in one of the staircases. _I have to see her. If I don't… I'm going to go crazy._ He thought as he ran in search of his teacher.

-ooOOoo-

 _Beep… beep… beep…_

For the third day in a row, Katsumi woke up to the sound of the heart monitor next to her. She sighed in tiresome at the familiar sound. _I can't believe I fainted like that… and so close to the world championship too_. The first part of the contest would be held in 2 weeks, here in Tokyo. But from what the doctors said (or more like ordered), she was not to compete this year due to poor health. Her parents didn't think twice when they agreed. If she had any hope to get out of this hospital, she'd have to be a good little girl for 3 weeks, at least.

The thought of missing the contest made the 16 year old want to slam her fist against the wall with frustration. After all that practice. After all the tears, blood, bruises and soul that she put into her routines, she was not to compete. She knew the reason why she was in this situation, even if it confused her parents. She has brought it upon herself, after all. And it was all because she was worried about her soulmate. Katsumi hasn't seen or heard from him in over a year. She found out that he disappeared to solve crimes, but the worried looks that Ran had couldn't fool her. Something in her gut told her that it was a lie. That guy was egoistic about his job, but he never wandered off for so long. This led her to forget about eating or not being in the mood for it. Not even when her father, a renowned chef, placed her favorite food, which was sushi, right in front of her. And he never did that, because he understood how important her diet was as a figure skater. With her giant love for sushi, she was more than glad that he kept the sushi away from her. Yet, due to lack of eating, she started to lose her energy. She could no longer do the most complicated parts of the routines, as a result. In the end, to her embarrassment, she fainted by doing a simple turn on the ice.

 _Where's a gum when you need one?_ The black headed teenager grumbled in her mind. She pushed a button on her bed, which made the upper part of the bed fold until she was satisfied with the position. She leaned over to the side table and pushed it in front of her. On there was her phone with earplugs and a notepad with a pen. Katsumi put the earplugs into her ear and played one of the songs that she created a routine for this year. It was Japanese traditional music, as her theme was culture. Her other songs were European Spanish and American, to unify some parts of the world into her theme.

Katsumi bit the back of the pen, as she had no gum on her. She closed her brown eyes and allowed the music to consume her being. Her mind, heart and soul tried their best to forget about her still worried state for Shinichi. But it was impossible. Even when she imagined standing there on the ice ring, in her current ice figure skating costume. It was Japanese style, a short kimono, which gave a glimpse into what she was to dance. She went through her routine in her mind. Her black and white, with hints of red as it sparkled underneath the lights of the stadium. The stadium outside the ring was dark and empty. The only thing she heard was the music, as she turned, spun and did spirals. She felt free from every worry. Any minute now, she could blown away with the wind like the cherry blossoms. Maybe even become one with the river, as she made her way down from an icy mountain. Or perhaps like a bird, which soared through the sky with no care in the world.

But then she stopped, when her eyes glanced over at a spot at the stadium. There stood Shinichi. His blue eyes bore into hers with a blank expression.

"S-Shinichi"

Katsumi forgot the honorific san, as he was still a stranger to her. Her voice trembled because of her tight throat. Her eyes burned as they started to turn a bit red and tears came out. Before her eyes, he started to disappear like a mist.

"No!"

The ice figure skater cried out, as she opened her eyes in panic. The heart monitor started to go off the scale, beeping so loud that it would make any other person wince. She barely noticed. The tears from her imagination came to the real world. A chock escaped her lips. She bit hard on the bottom lip, to keep herself quiet and not let anyone know. Her arms wrapped around herself in comfort, but her nails dug into her skin through the hospital gown.

It was torture, to not know what really happened to him. She knew he was alive, but not knowing if he was well or not was killing her inside. Her eyes opened a bit and looked at her forearm, where his name was written in English elegant writing. She let go of her lip and arms, and raised a hand to stroke the name with gentleness. Even after these past few years, with the ignoring, there was no denying what her heart wanted. But she couldn't bring herself to go talk to him. She has great confidence in who she was, what she wanted, what she disliked and all that. So when Katsumi saw what kind of a guy her soulmate was, she knew what she was going to get into right off the bat. It didn't help that Shinichi wasn't that secretive about his arrogance. That kind of a person would have driven her up the wall from day one if she got to know him this early. So she settled with watching from afar. Katsumi knew that, some day, both of them would have a better opportunity to get to know each other. That was, after they did a bit of growing up and discover themselves more.

Was she a bad person, to not have given Shinichi a chance? Maybe she was, and to punish her he disappeared.

The tears still came, but they were slower than before. She rubbed her right eye with her right wrist. A fake chuckle escaped her lips.

"I'm hopeless, I swear. I'm sure he's fine."

The smile didn't reach her eyes, and neither her heart. Looking at the small, private room, it was bare except for a closet, TV and the hospital equipment. There was literally nothing to do. Lifting her hand, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. The first thing it showed was the news, which talked about the sports program at the moment. In silence, she listened as the Japanese newscasters talked about different sport events. After a few minutes, they reached ice figure skating. They haven't talked about her yet, which was a shock. She has won for Japan at least two silver medals for the last few competitions at the finals and a bronze on her first time. Her bored eyes narrowed a bit. A small smirk played on her lips. This gave her an opening, in which she still could still train. That was, until her parents announced that she wouldn't be competing. Maybe then they would allow her to compete, if they saw that she was strong enough.

"Hm… I can't slack any longer." Her brown eyes twinkled with mischievousness, as she purred her thoughts out loud. "Let's see how easy it is to get out of here."

-ooOOoo-

Shinichi wasn't sure what he thought. His blue eyes were wide and his mouth hung open as he stared at the hospital room, which Katsumi was supposed to be in. Her doctor stood next to him with the same expression. The closet was wide open, where a hospital gown hung there in an innocent manner. Every trace of her existence was gone from this room. How was this possible?

"I can't believe this! Her parents were right." The doctors sighed as he ran a hand over his face. "The minute we take eyes off of her, she disappears. I'll have to call her parents. How am I going to explain this?"

The detective was a bit amused, truth be told. The thought that she'd be able to get passed all these people without a flaw almost made him smile. But he was worried, because on the way to this room the doctor brought him up to date on her health. It was not good news. It was dangerous for her to even leave the hospitals at this point. Shinichi said as he turned to the old doctor:

"I'll come with you. I want to ask her parents a few questions about her possible whereabouts."

The older man didn't object. He knew the skills of this teenager, and he needed the patient to be found.

"Only if you agree that if you'll find her, you'll bring her back here."

Shinichi nodded in agreement.

-ooOOoo-

Katsumi tied the strings to her skates. Once finished, she walked to the ice ring and paused at the entrance to look at it. It was mostly empty, with a few adults around. As it was a school and work day, she wasn't surprised at the lack of people. Looking down at her feet, which were a few centimeters away from the ice, everything doubled. Her hands on the door entrance tightened, feeling her legs shake a bit. A pound made itself known in her head, which caused her to wince and grab it with one hand.

 _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea._ The brown eyed female thought. When she looked back up at the ice ring, a smile graced her lips. This was her home away from home. She could always express herself with just the music, her routines and the ice. The ice never judged her. It, instead, caught her whenever she fell with no chance of breaking and letting her fall through. The routines came from her imagination. It never ceased to stop creating new things for the pleasure of her and others. Then there was the sweet music, which stood next to her like another figure and danced along with her.

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her back and glided onto the ice with ease. Her pale, long fingers touched the headphones that were placed securely inside her ears. She took out her phone and turned on random music and just glided over the ice, ignoring the watchers. Doing simple turns, she glided with ease. The dizziness started to build up a bit, but it was ignored for the moment. Without much trouble, Katsumi spun around the skaters. She took extra care not to disturb them.

With a small jump, the world spun around her. She lost her balance and landed on her butt.

The cool ice danced underneath her fingers. The teenager rested her back onto it and stared up at the ceiling. People around her talked to her, but the words were lost on her. Their faces became nothing more than the shadows of which followed everyone. The only thing that she heard was the music. The only thing she felt was the coolness of the ground. And the only thing she saw was the ceiling. Not once has she noticed that the darkness itched its way in the corner of her visions, closer to the center.

 _It feels so great to be here again. It's funny how I'm tired now, after a small nonexistent routine._ It was rather sad, now that she thought about it.

"Katsumi!"

A voice, familiar one, cried out to her. The shadowy figures moved back, and one kneeled down beside her. But all she did was blink at the figure, not really sure who it was. _My head hurts,_ she thought as the pounding began again.

"Someone, call the hospital!"

The voice started to sound panic. A warm hand reached out and stroked her cheek. The same person said with softness:

"It's going to be alright now. I need you to hang in there."

"S…hi…ni…chi…?"

Katsumi voiced in confusion, but before the person could answer, the darkness surrounded her.

-ooOOoo-

Shinichi felt like the world around him started to slow down. There were blanks in his memories, which confused him a bit. He remembered how Katsumi called out his name and became unconscious. He couldn't remember how he got her out of the ice ring. Maybe some of the workers or the other skaters helped him? He wasn't sure. All that he knew was that his arms, which held her, refused to let go, as she sat on his lap and close to his chest. Then came another blank, followed by a ride in the ambulance. The blue eye detective wasn't sure how they managed to pry her out of his arms. He didn't know what he said or did to be allowed to get inside the ambulance with her. He knew just one thing, and that was he didn't let go of her hand once.

Her hand was skinnier and paler than normal. There was little to no warmth that radiated from her, which felt wrong. He didn't know how he knew that, but he did. And then there was the fact that it felt so small and fragile, but strong at the same time. Even though he was afraid to tighten his hold a bit, somehow she sensed it in her sleep and did it for him. The grip was a bit strong, possibly from all those years of skating and honing her muscles. It was either that or she was stubborn, much like him.

Again, after that, there was a blank in his memories. One minute he was in the ambulance by her side and next thing he knew they were back in her hospital room. He wasn't sure what happened much afterwards. The only thing that he cared to remember was that he has barely left her side and even less so let go of her hand. Shinichi felt a bit like a child, when it came to being possessive over a toy. But this wasn't a toy, but rather a human being. One that he made a vow to that he would never ignore again and make things right.

-ooOOoo-

 _Beep… beep… beep…_

 _Again with that noise!_ Katsumi thought with annoyance. _Beeping all day and night. Can someone turn it off already?_

 _Beep… beep… beep…_

A groan of frustration escaped her lips as she tried to go back to sleep. A shuffling sound could be heard onto her left side. _Wait… beeping?_ She paused and heard something moving beside her. _What's with that other noise?_ Opening her eyes, she blinked as she stared at a familiar white ceiling. Slow realization began to dawn on her as seconds ticked by. Her hand felt warm, which was odd because for the last while it was colder than usual. It felt nice, she decided.

"Katsumi?"

A male voice asked. Turning her head, her brown eyes widened in shock at who she saw. Right beside her sat, on the chair, holding _her_ hand, Shinichi. Millions of thoughts passed through her mind, many of which were questions. Her emotions were just as bad, fighting between being relieved or angry. But right now, this reunion didn't need anger. Her heart beat faster than ever. Something fought its way up from her chest and into her throat, making it clench in respond. She chocks out as tears started to appear:

"S-Shinichi?"

The events back at the ice ring started to come back. The tears became more as she remembered the warm hand that stroked her face. It was the same feeling that held onto her hand right now. _He's all right! He's alive, not injured and right beside me. Is… I-Is this a dream? Please let it be real._ The thought it was a dream brought her pain. Katsumi couldn't deal with it anymore if it was a dream.

The older teenager started to panic when she started to cry. Shinichi wasn't good at romance. Just ask anyone that knew him. He was even worse when it came to feelings in general. He remembered many times when he would have a female crying to him and he would tell her to pull herself together. What made things worse this time around was that it was his soulmate that was crying. _W-What am I supposed to do?!_ He thought with visible panic. Seeing how panicked he was, it made the black headed female smile in amusements. She ordered him through chocked voice:

"Just… just hold me. T-That's all that I want."

The male was confused. That was all it took? Just a hug? Not that he had much to say, as he was a moron in the department of comforting. With nervousness, he moved closer with his chair. Katsumi all but bounced on him, her arms wrapped around his torso and her face buried into his chest. Shinichi was startled, as he didn't expect that. Forcing himself to calm down, he wrapped his arms around her smaller figure and pulled her onto his lap.

Katsumi couldn't hold it back anymore. All the stress and worries started to build up all at once and she let herself cry into the other's chest. It wasn't a dream. He was really here, with her. Neither of them ignored the other. When she looked into his eyes, she knew that he lost that arrogant persona. If she was in the hospital before, he wouldn't have been there. Maybe. But there was a high chance, nonetheless. Yet, he was there, holding her, touching her and comforting her as best as he could. His eyes were kind, filled with worry. It was something that was so foreign for her to see from him.

Katsumi tried to talk through her crying. She wanted to tell him how worried she was for him. She wanted to yell at him, maybe even hit his arm, for making her so worried. She wanted to tell him that, even though she ignored him, she still cared and wanted to be with him. She also wanted to say that him being gone for a year has slowly killed her from the inside. Yet, she couldn't. All that came from her lips were chokes, quick breathes and hiccups. The arms around her tightened in a comforting manner.

"We'll talk later, okay?"

Shinichi asked. She looked up at him and gave a small nod. But her lips managed to utter one last thing:

"I… I (hic) miss…ed you."

Shinichi's heart tightened at the confession. There was so much that he wanted to tell her. About all the crimes that he solved. All the people that he met, who he either befriended or became an enemy of. All the funny, sad, exciting and frightening moments that he felt through his journey. That he thought of her many nights. And how he hoped that the criminal organization didn't find about her. About how he took extra care to cover her name on his forearm and replace it with a nonexistent one. It was so to make sure that, in case he was caught, that they would be misled. That he had regrets, once he realized that the chances of him returning to everyone in his real form was close to zero. The relief that he felt when he did manage to stop the organization and return to them safely. In the end, he clenched his eyes closed and whispered back sincerely:

"I missed you too"


End file.
